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January is National Mentoring Month – Training Available January 29th at WCC
January is National Mentoring Month – Training Available January 29th at WCC
By: Bill Hodgeman, Associate Pastor of Youth, Pleasant Street Church and Member of the WCC Youth Outreach Advisory Committee
Her story she broke my heart.
“My mom’s in jail, my dad’s in jail and my brother’s in jail. I live with my grandmother but we don’t get along all that well, so I spend most nights at friend’s houses. I’ll probably go to jail when I’m old enough. I’ve already been in lock up twice.”
I tried to respond compassionately, hopefully. Inside I was reeling. “What on earth do I say? What can I say?” I’d seen her several times before. She was hard, aggressive, independent. I had a hunch it was a false front—but I had no idea that this was the source of the pain she was masking.
In my job I spend a lot of time with teenagers. People assume that because I’m still in my twenties I can understand and relate to teenagers easily. They’re wrong. Youth culture is a moving target, and today’s teenagers don’t remind me much of my peers in middle school and high school. If you’ve ever said to a young person, “I know what you’re going through. I was a teenager once,” they probably glared at you, or walked away. If you’re over the age of twenty-one, I’ve got news for you—you don’t.
Sociologist and Youth Culture expert Chap Clark calls today’s adolescents “The Hurt Generation.” He argues that this generation of teenagers is unique for two reasons. First, it has had to face more stress, violence, pain, uncertainty, pressure and “adult problems” than any in recent history. Every generation has its hurdles, but the layers of instability, fragmentation, expectations and stress faced by today’s teenagers is without precedence.
But more uniquely, and detrimentally, today’s generation of adolescents has had to face these challenges, by and large, without much help from the adult world. From 1980 to 2000, American kids lost access to 10 hours a week with their parents. But not only are kids spending less time with adults, many of the institutions that were first designed to nurture kids into healthy adulthood are failing do so. They have become hijacked by adult agendas, ignorant of the developmental needs of kids, or dispensed with entirely. Clark writes, “As society in general moved from being a relatively stable and cohesive adult community intent on caring for the needs of the young to a free-for-all of independent and fragmented adults seeking their own survival, individual adolescents found themselves in a deepening hole of systemic rejection.”
That, Clark argues, is the number one reason for the relational chasm between the generations that leaves so many adults perplexed and frustrated, and so many kids feeling misunderstood, uncared for, and abandoned.
But it’s not all bad news. Clark also writes, “Young people are desperate for an adult who cares. Certainly, some adolescents have been so wounded that rebuilding trust may appear almost insurmountable. Yet those who serve them with tenderness and respect will testify that even the hardest young soul cries out for someone who authentically cares.”
How can we reach out to the Hurt Generation? How can we, as a community, work together to close the generation gap, stem the tide of “abandonment” and help lead hurting teenagers into mature, healthy adulthood?
Here are two great places to start:
Volunteer to be a Mentor. Multiple studies on the resilience of kids have arrived at the same conclusion: one adult who cares can be the difference maker in a young person’s life. The Northbridge Mentoring Project is always seeking adults to come alongside of students (K-12), and be a consistent and caring presence in their lives. Right now there are approximately 20 mentor-mentee pairs in our community, but there are always kids waiting for a mentor. To get involved, call Brett MacGowan at the Whitin Community Center (508-234-8184, ext. 305) or attend the a mentoring informational/training session at the Whitin Community Center on Tuesday, January 29th at 6:30pm.
Volunteer at the Whitin Community Center's Rockdale Youth Center. The Rockdale Youth Center (on 122 in Rockdale across from the Cumberland Farms) is part of the Whitin Community Center’s outreach program. Every day after school, 20-30 kids age 8-13 hang out at the Youth Center—which provides a safe environment, adult supervision, homework help, recreation and enrichment activities. The Rockdale Youth Center is always looking for volunteers who will hang out with kids, help with homework or invite them to participate in a project (cooking, music, drama, etc.). To get involved, or for more information, call the Rockdale Youth Center (508-234-0272).
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